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Carroll's argument draws on decades of research, which he put together in his report, The Soulmate Trap, much of which distinguishes between what psychologists call "destiny beliefs" - the idea that the right relationship should feel effortless - and "growth beliefs", which focus on what partners can do to make things work.
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「這些東西是我從來沒有經歷過,所以當時對我的心裡影響其實蠻大的,」關恆說,那些攻擊謾罵為他帶來的負面影響,加上沒有家人和朋友可以在身邊讓他傾訴,「所以我其實就是…我就不想再去面對這些事情,就是因為我當時已經是够焦頭爛額。」